Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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