This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
