..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
