i need an iv and a liver transplant
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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