I wish I could punch you in the face.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Come on in and take your pants off
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