At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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