Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
