his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
