walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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