Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I FOUND THE LEGS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
