We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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