1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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