is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
