Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
