Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
tell me about the fingering
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