the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
