Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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