She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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