You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just want nice things and good sex
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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