I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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