do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
