why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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