return my video game
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
