Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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