So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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