He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
