Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
