Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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