He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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