once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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