Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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