So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
