call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
