i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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