Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
