in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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