Welp...herpes.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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