Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Drunk is not a location!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
