so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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