You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
