Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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