the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
