Your tits are I can't wait for
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
