I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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