Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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