just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
