Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
