Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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