hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
