I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she peed on how many people?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
