I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you had me at cake vodka
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
