dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
