Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
