His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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