I just made out with a guy for $7.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
