Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
