So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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