I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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