i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
