What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
