I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
