remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
