it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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